Xtreme Kiwi ;)

so sitting on the bus to chester and i look upwards to find a rather odd advertisement that read "My breast feels funny!?" what ever floats your boat...personally you sink mine ;)
then shortly after getting to chester i notice a boy standing outside subway who has a drawn on moustache...erm okay then :L why not i guess?
then on the train later on that day i somehow completely forgot how many months there are in a year :$ and had to ask my friend...oooopsssy :$
how about some random sayings that i have become fond of ;)

• now den swell 'ed ;)
• that were ret funny that was :L
• sick laaaaaa
• yes lid!
• whats gwaanin
• sup mon :P
• put a bangin donk on it
• i'll murder your goat
• i'll bomb your house!
• im gonna eat your pea
• how now brown cow

i have also found some funny things tooooo :L :')

• Richard Edwards is possibly the worst guys name ever (dick 'ed)
• my friend thinks honey is bee jizz
• said friend ^ also thinks there is bull spunk in yoghurt
• a different friend calls cereal Cereals :L why the s??
• you can buy really small mini eggs called "teeny weeny eggs"
• another friend has called a girl ewwww-ie :L is that even a word?
• facebook groups are so funny these days :

1. chasing lesbians with your cock out to show them what they are missing out on
2. covering yourself in vasaline and sitting naked in the dark
3. covering your willy with a tissue and pretending its a ghost
4. casually slipping your penis into someones mouth when they yawn
5. sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop
6. starting a conga line and leading everyone to your sex dungeon    
7. im wearing skinny jeans...if i cant get them off, neither can the rapist 
8. throwing cats at lesbians because they love pussy so much
9. crying alone on your birthday and rubbing cake all over yourself
10. the awkward moment when your erection pokes someone in the eye 
11. the awkward moment when you're helicoptering your willy and you take off
12. wiping cum across your girlfriends forehead and whispering "simba"
13. putting your willy in your mates pint when he isnt looking
14. just stop poking me and admit you want to have sex with me instead ;)

now onto the title of this post, cause i guess i have to explain "Xtreme Kiwi" :L well on American total wipeout there was a guy from New zealand and the over voice guy kept yelling "XTREME KIWI" when the guy fell into the water :') so it is my new favourite saying...teeeheeee ;)

always look at what you have left,not what you have lost

Gecky xx